He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
