i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
