who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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