Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
