okay pat passed out under dana's car
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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