pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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