do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
