I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
