so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
