you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
