I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
