I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize