I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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