So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize