Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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