Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize