So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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