Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I am one with the molecules
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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