Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
