how can u be prego again
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just want to make out with him forever
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
