Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize