Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just gift wrapped bread.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
