I need to stop coming to work sober
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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