you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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