You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
