and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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