just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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