i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
