I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
