girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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