You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
