This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
