i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
