sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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