Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
