And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
