I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
