I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize