I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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