He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize