I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
COCAINE IS GR8
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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