Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
