there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
