I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
