at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
