Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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