i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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