her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize