so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
