did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
