My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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