and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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