does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
She announced her abortion via fbk
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
