so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
