see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
