somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize